OVER WHELMED

with 10 comments

I’m feeling a little over-whelmed at the moment… juggling and not doing so well at it. I shouldn’t even be writing a blog post, but I find myself here, as it just might help.

It’s been the Easter holidays, that’s two weeks off school for the boys. I love my boys and I usually love the holidays, a break from the routine is so welcome, no need to rush out the house, time to hang out and do things together. This holiday has been different. The boys and their wrestling and constant fighting is wearing me down. My usual patience is dwindling. The winding up, the moods, the noise and I struggle with the one minute laughing and the next hitting the s*&! out of each other. There is rarely peace at the moment. And I’m at the end of my tether. I know it’s down to me to handle it better, coz they’re kids and it’s my perspective on the situation that can make or break how I handle it. I’ve just hit a wall. Need to take a big deep breath and let it wash over me. These boys mean everything to me and I don’t want to be feeling frustrated, but this intense time together is getting too much.

On the flipside of all this, we’ve had some magical times together in the last couple of weeks, out and about soaking up all the goodness of London, and it’s been fun. It’s just the energy at home that’s getting me down.

It probably doesn’t help that I’m super busy. The second round of Creating Time Capsules is in full swing and I’m totally blown away by this lively entertaining group, creating and sharing so much from their lives. They’re bursting with creativity, it’s amazing. I’m behind with some photo session editing and I have this wedding sitting & waiting to be played with. My head is always buzzing with tweaking this space: my blog, and I’ve still not done all I want since all the blogshop inspiration. And there are new projects & ideas that might not get a chance to be implemented just yet and this makes me sad and frustrated.

Oh… and we have to move house. Really. We must. I’m getting panicked because if we’re not somewhere new by October, we don’t stand a chance of our eldest going to the secondary school of his choice. And this makes me anxious. Big time. I’m hoping everything slots into place and this delay is meant to be happening.

All I want to do is lie in bed and catch up on episodes of The Good Wife and escape from it all.

That’s my whinge. Not really fair in the grand scheme of things, we’re all healthy, happy and here. SO I should be thankful.

I’ll carry on, keep finding the joy in all these blessings, because a lot of it is exciting and the boys are just being boys, right?? Even writing it all down is putting into perspective. I’m sure by this time next week I’ll be singing a different tune – here’s hoping! Everything happens for a reason.

New time capsule from our day out recently…

P.s I’m starting to cross things off my list - this is good news… the power of writing down seems to be making things happen!… #28 – a new coat in green, second hand and a real bargain! and #33 – breakfast in bed is happening, almost once a week… that’s goodness for the soul right there

 

Written by xanthe

April 13th, 2012 at 2:12 pm

Posted in me,my time capsules,our boys,our life,personal

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  • http://brookelynphotography.com Brooke Fitts

    boy do i ever hear you… life is so non stop as a working mama… sometimes i wonder if it will ever slow down… i guess when i’m 70. thanks for being vulnerable about it tho!

    xx,
    brooke

  • http://www.cherishbryckphotography.com Cherish

    Thanks for being real and honest X. Easier times are around the corner – I promise:)

  • Kirstin

    Big hugs, lovely Xanthe.
    xxx

  • Debra McGlynn

    It’s so nice to know you’re human. You seem to achieve so much and are always so upbeat. When things like this happen, I try to remember the words of that beautiful George Harrison song “all things must pass”…..and they do, eventually. Don’t fight it, go with the flow.
    By the way, the wresting doesn’t seem to stop – my boys are 15 and 18 and they now wrestle my husband the minute he walks thru the door of a night – arghhhhhh! it’s a ‘boy thing’.

  • http://moseyalong.blogspot.com mosey (kim)

    We all need a good whinge now and then and mothers in particular deserve it! If its any consolation you seem to accomplish more in a 24 hour period than I manage in a month. :)

  • http://mrseliotbooks.blogspot.com francesca

    i had one of these crashes a few weeks ago xanna. it just all got too much and i thought i was going mad. it has washed over though and though things are still hard often, it’s not quite that hell i was in a few weeks back. it’s true, it’s the home dynamic. we have to get out of the house, otherwise we all wanna scream! sounds like you need some time to yourself. no kids, no work, just rest. let’s catch up soon. come for a cuppa when you get a mo. xxx

  • http://lifeineden.wordpress.com life in eden {amy}

    Oh sweetie, I so hear this! Some how this spring is overwhelming to the max. The twins have decided to fight constantly too, and now are bucking authority to top it off (lots of NO I won’ts, grrr).

    Plus, thing are ramping up for me and we’ve all been sick and can’t seem to get healthy. Some months it just seems a mom can’t win, huh?

    Keep breathing, keep venting, rest and then move forward. We’ll all get there, I’m sure of it.
    xo

  • http://wonderingsandwanderings.com/ jeanine

    oh sweetheart! thank you so much for sharing. it’s a bit selfish of me but i feel so much less alone thanks to this post (i wrote a similar post yesterday). you’re right. we’ll al be singing a different tune soon. we’re just in the “going through” part and there is always light on the other side (at least, there bloody well better be. haha). much love to you, darling. xoxo

  • http://www.birdwannawhistle.com Corinna

    BREATHE, beautiful Xanthe. And know that you’re a mom, not a saint. (Wait, are you a saint?) You’re allowed to feel exhausted and annoyed by the noise and the space they take up and the breaking of your routine, just as at the same time you love them with all your heart.

    And while I know all this stuff on your to-do list feels like pressure to you, I hear it as a tease of exciting and inspiring things that I’ll be able to soak up soon. Can’t wait! xo

  • http://www.wolftale.wordpress.com Siobhan Wolf

    Oh, dear, Xanthe, I so feel you! It seems to always hit right around this time of year, mid-April rolling into May and things are winding up for a rush toward the end of our school year, the kids are more irritable than usual (and that is magnified this year by hormones!) and I struggle to keep up with the added energy, fighting and activities. I cannot image adding the prospect of moving house on top of it. I’m breathing right along with you.

    I do know, believe, it all happens for a reason,though find frustration in not knowing or seeing that reason so much of the time. Not mine to know, I guess.

    Sending you thoughts of peace on a warm breeze, the hug of two brothers who love each other even in the scrapping for dominance, and the perfect house in which to move your family. *hugs*

    Thanks for sharing this. I take comfort in not being alone in it, myself.